


what more could an android want?

by transsalfisher



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Hannor, M/M, Nightmares, Sappy, Some angst, big ol fluff, hankcon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 17:42:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15690243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transsalfisher/pseuds/transsalfisher
Summary: “Oh,” Connor says, looking at the case in his hands. “Well, I sorted your records alphabetically because I thought that would help me get to sleep. But, it didn’t… So, I’m sorting your DVD’s now.”He realizes, now that it’s coming out of his mouth, that he sounds like an idiot. He sets the DVD case down and runs a hand through his hair.“I didn’t mean to wake you.”





	what more could an android want?

He doesn’t understand emotions. He gets upset a lot for no reason, then gets frustrated with himself for being upset, and he doesn’t understand why he’s frustrated. It’s a vicious cycle that drives Connor insane. 

Hank says it’s PTSD. He says that Connor has experienced a lot since August. Connor wants to believe him, but it’s hard. It’s hard to believe him when he was built to be something that doesn’t experience emotions like fear and sadness.

He isn’t even sure what sets it off. It can be the smallest things, most obscure things and it’ll have Connor upset for weeks. Hank just says that’s how it is. He says that Connor doesn’t need a reason to be upset, but Connor feels like he does.

Things have been better since Connor started living with Hank. He feels like he has a purpose. He doesn’t have the constant fear of being discontinued or replaced. When he’s with Hank, he doesn’t worry. He’s happy, for the most part.

But, like clockwork, his emotions flare up and Connor doesn’t know what to do. He’s just lucky that Hank is so understanding. He’s lucky that Hank knows anything about emotions, because Connor certainly doesn’t. Dealing with his emotions scares him. They don’t scare Hank.

He isn’t sure what set it off this time. Probably whatever PTSD Hank thinks Connor may have. But, the night had been normal. They walked Sumo, the snow was beautiful especially when it got caught in Hank’s hair. It was Connor’s turn to make dinner tonight. They watched a game afterwards then listened to some records while they did dishes. 

Despite everything being normal, Connor still has the terrible nightmares.

He doesn’t know where he is. It’s cold and there’s nobody else there. He looks down and sees the blue blood. He doesn’t think it’s his at first. But he follows the trail with his eyes, only to realize it is his. His chest is wide open, his artificial heart beating frantically. He tries to call for help but he can’t. He can’t even open his mouth. He can’t move his hands to try to stop the bleeding.

He’s frozen.

He can hear Hank’s voice and somebody else’s distantly. They’re talking about what a shame it is to have to go through the process of getting a replacement. What a hassle it is to figure out what was wrong with this one. 

_But there’s nothing wrong_. Connor thinks. _This was how I was designed. It isn’t my fault._

Then that terrible, terrible word.

_Deviant._

He doesn’t know who says it, he can’t tell. But they use it to describe Connor and it hurts. He’s not a deviant, he’s done everything that he’s supposed to. He hasn’t done anything wrong, he isn’t a deviant.

Then, just as somebody starts to drag him away, Connor wakes up.

He’s sitting upright but he doesn’t remember waking up. He can’t breathe even though he doesn’t need to. He feels like he’s swallowing water, inhaling cotton balls. And he hates that. He hates that he _feels_ so many things. He _feels_ and that’s the problem.

Connor sits perfectly still for a moment. He pulls his knees to his chest then looks around the room. Sumo stares up at him from the foot of the bed tiredly, head cocked in slight confusion. He looks over to the other side of the bed and lets out a quiet sigh.

Hank is still asleep, good. He needs the rest and Connor certainly doesn’t want to be waking him up at whatever _ungodly_ hour it is.

The android leans over and presses a small kiss to Hank’s cheek then quietly shifts out of bed. He pads out of the bedroom, down the hall, and into the kitchen. He flicks on a light, walks to one of the cupboards, and grabs himself a glass to full with water.

Quietly, he sits down at the table and stares at the full glass. He blinks, feeling tired. It’s something that came with his newfound deviancy and it’s something he’s had trouble adjusting to, being tired. 

He sips his water quietly, staring blankly at the wall across the room from him. He tells himself he’s going to drink one glass, then go back to bed. Except, once he’s finished his glass, he doesn’t feel like he can go back to bed.

He stands, turns off the kitchen light, and walks into the living room. He turns on a lamp and looks around. The room is a mess but he and Hank have been too busy to try cleaning it up. He turns his attention to Hank’s record player and the many records around it. 

He’ll just sort a few then head back to bed. That’ll waste enough time. So he sits himself in front of one of the crates and begins sorting.

It’s around three that Sumo wakes Hank up, worried that Connor hasn’t returned and not wanting to go find him by himself. Hank stirs and sits up with a grunt, nudging Sumo off of him. He looks down at him, rubbing one of his eyes, before he realizes that his partner isn’t in bed with him.

“How long has he been gone?” Hank mumbles tiredly to Sumo, as if the dog could answer.

He feels the sheets where Connor had been and realizes they’re cold. He throws his head back and groans before he stands and shuffles down the hall. Sumo follows after him, sniffing down the hallway. Hank stops at the end of the hall, staring tiredly into the living room.

“ _Christ_ …” He pauses and punches the bridge of his nose. “Connor, what are you doing?

Connor jumps a little and drops the DVD he had been holding. He looks down at the case on the ground for a moment before leaning down to pick it up. 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“That doesn’t really answer my question,”

“Oh,” Connor says, looking at the case in his hands. “Well, I sorted your records alphabetically because I thought that would help me get to sleep. But, it didn’t… So, I’m sorting your DVD’s now.”

He realizes, now that it’s coming out of his mouth, that he sounds like an idiot. He sets the DVD case down and runs a hand through his hair.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t, Sumo did.” Hank says.

He walks over to Connor and gently kisses his blinking LED. The android presses into the affection, leaning against the older man. Hank wraps his arms around him and carefully pulls the other close. Sumo pushes his way between them and stands lazily between their legs.

They stand like that for a few moments, Connor tucked into Hank’s side. It’s calming, comforting. Connor feels safe like this. Hank presses another kiss to his LED, then gives him a squeeze. 

“How about we lay back down?” Hank suggests softly.

“Alright.”

Hank takes the android’s hand and leads him back down the hallway, too tired to even turn off the lamp. Hank shuts the bedroom door behind the three of them. Sumo is the first to hop up into bed and Hank follows.

Connor curls up against him and rests his head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. It’s become a soothing sound, something calming. He sighs and pushes some hair from his eyes before nuzzling against the man.

“So,” Hank says. “What has you up so late?”

Connor shrugs. “I’m just up.”

“You’re not “just up.”” He responds. “Something’s on your mind, what’s up?”

But the problem is, Connor genuinely doesn’t know. He’s upset about something but he doesn’t know what said something is. He’s just upset. Which is understandable, he knows this, Hank tells him all the time.

Connor shrugs his shoulder again and wraps his arms around Hank’s middle. He sighs and closes his eyes, squeezing them shut. He just wants to go to bed. He just wants to get a decent amount of sleep. That’s all he wants.

“I don’t know,” Connor says quietly. “It’s just… Having feelings… Is hard.”

“Agreed,” Hank nods. “What else?”

“It’s hard thinking about things that… Have happened as of recently. Like…”

“Devianthood?” Hank interrupts. He knows Connor won’t say it.

“Yeah. And being replaced by… Myself. And… I don’t know, Hank, it’s just a lot. I feel like I did everything I was supposed to do but, by definition, I’m a deviant and… It’s conflicting, is all.”

Hank nods his head, yawning. “Yeah, well. Of course it’s conflicting, it goes against everything you knew.”

“Yeah.”

“So, naturally, you’re going to be upset about it.”

“Yeah.”

Hank yawns again, scratching Connor’s scalp gently. The android leans up into the touch, sighing slowly. Hank talking him through it helps. It eases the blow a little bit. For someone who isn’t an android, he really does know how to help.

“Hank?” Connor asks, his voice suddenly quietly.

“Yes?”

“H… How many Connor models did you go through?”

“What?”

“How many Connor models died when you were working with me?”

“Oh, God, Connor…” Hank sighs. “I… It’s… It’s not something I like to think about.”

Connor looks up at him with wide, brown eyes. He hugs onto Hank tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. Hank hugs him back just as tightly and presses gentle kisses to hide head.

“Was it hard?”

“Crazy fucking hard.”

Both of them are quiet for a moment, holding onto each other as if it’s going to be the last time. Hank keeps his face pressed into Connor’s hair as he runs a hand down his back and Connor presses himself as close to Hank as he can.

“It was…” Hank clears his throat. “It was really upsetting to see you die. Especially more than once.”

Connor nods. “I can imagine.”

Connor looks up at him and loosens his grip a little. He leans up and gently presses his lips to Hank’s. Hank hums quietly and pulls him closer, resting a firm hand on the back of his neck.

“You love me even though I’m a deviant, right?”

“Of course.” Hank chuckles. “Come on, you doofus, let’s try to go back to bed.” 

Connor smiles and curls up against him. Hank turns and wraps both arms around Connor, kissing his forehead.

“And if I can’t sleep?”

“And if you can’t sleep, I’ll call in sick to work tomorrow. How’s that sound?”

Connor smiles. “Normally I would chastise you for lying to our boss but… That’s a good idea. I can’t argue with a good idea.”

Hank smiles and rubs Connor’s back. 

Above all, Connor is happy. The emotions are difficult, the nightmares are bad, but he has Hank and Sumo. What more could an android ask for?

**Author's Note:**

> lmk what y’all thought <3


End file.
